"Don't be all shadow and no substance"

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Willy Willy Bum Bum

You know when you wake up you get that feeling that you're going to have "A Day". You know what I'm talking about, the one where literally from the second you wake up everything goes wrong? Yeah... Had one of them yesterday.

Woke up in Blades bed, him snoring next to me, RAGING hangover. No recollection of how I got there. Clothes were strewn around his bedroom (thankfully nothing bold happened there).
Got 20e off him to get home.
Did stride of pride to Tesco and waited for my taxi for 30 minutes. IN THE WIND AND RAIN. I looked like a whore with my Sunday Times tucked under my arm.
Got home. Mother questioned my virtue (again), even though she's not religious.
Passed out on her bed.
Drooled on my face.
Woke up, got off bed and stood on a plug (Worst. Pain. Ever.).
Too late to shower, ironed my shirt for work. Got rust stain on the front of it. Won't come off.
Ran out of make up so looked grey heading in.
Sat next to a hobo on the LUAS. He smelled worse than I did.
Got ciggarette ash in my eye when walking towards work.
Bought coffee. Burnt my tongue drinking it and then proceeded to drop it in the bin by mistake when I was trying to pull a receipt out of my hand with my teeth holding said coffee.
Tried not to cry. Succeeded.
Started work. First 3 customers I had were complaints about their purchases.
Was told I was bad at my job (I'm not at all, but she was old and I mentally wished her a speedy death soon).
Fell asleep in one of the optoms chairs on my break. Had a dream I won the Aston Martin DBS and it could fly. Woke up. It wasn't true.
Looked in the mirror. I wasn't Katy Perry, like I had also dreamed.
Shed a tear and cursed my life.
My skin had turned an odder shade of grey from lack of hydration and sleep.
Went home from work and started to watch a programme I had recorded on Sky +. It got cut off 3 minutes before the ending, so I don't know what happened.
I put on my onesie and went to bed.
Slept for 13 hours.



This video cheers me up no end. Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
I'm off to bed again. This onesie gets me tired. I love it. Best 9euro I ever spent.

Night all.

Living In Wonderland xo

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Sha la la la la la la la la

Cannot wait to break kneecaps. Some people really deserve it for hurting my friends and myself. They will get their skinny asses handed back to them on a plate. A syringe to the neck full of acid or something would be a nice starter :D


As you were people.

Living In Wonderland xo

Aye Aye Captain

These are my brothers. The Dude is on the left, Sponge is in the middle, and that sorry hungover grey-skinned excuse for a human being is yours truely, who for some reason doesn't seem to possess a neck in this photo. Christ.

These two are my heart and soul. The mean more than anything to me. I don't get to see them all too often because The Dude lives on the other side of Dublin and works like a mofo, and Sponge has literally just moved to New York because he got relocated with his job, but his girlfriend has been living over there for the last year with her job so they're going to move in together so I guess it's ok that he is a ricidulous distance away. These are the guys that I have on a really really high pedestal, that I base every single guy I ever like against. In my eyes they can do no wrong. I would jump through hoops of fire, velvet, ketchup and clowns to have a pint with them. They treat me like a princess, but still keep me in my place when I fuck up. We're a tight unit, the three of us. The Dude is the soft, caring and hilarious oldest brother, and Sponge is the witty charming and centre-stage middle brother. These guys are my favourite males in the world, and I'll forever idolize them. Spend 10 minutes with them and you'll feel the same way too. Go on. I fricken double dare you!

Good god I'm turning into such a public pansy these days, what is up with that??

Living In Wonderland xo

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Stephen Hawkings.

So last night I went to the Mish Mash with a big group of my friends. It was so much fun. You pay 5e in and get to see a bunch of comedians, and get free biscuits too. I went in after work, hopping on the LUAS and met Moon Pies at Stephens Green. He's starting to do some vlogs, more or less to do with being out and about in Ireland. I think he has something here so I'm more than supportive for this to take off properly. It's only in the starting process but I think he could be onto a winner here. I said I'd be in one, being the nice friend that I am (regardless of the fact that I talk like a boy) to show people what this comedy show is like, as he'd never been to one either, so he couldn't exactly talk about it. So we were walking down Grafton street filming and chatting and it was going grand until I saw Cunt Features walking up the road with 2 other people on the other side of the street. It was the first time I've seen him in well over 6 months. I freaked the fuck out inside my head but didn't say a tap to Moon Pies. He called out our names but Moon Pies didn't hear him (thank fuck), and once we were a safe distance away I told him. I was literally shaking. I felt physically ill. Wasn't expecting to react that way at all. I'm such a spa. Rubber Ducky was heading to meet us in the pub with some of the other gang and I texted her and she nearly fucking ran to us. She's had similar problems with people from her past so she knew exactly what I was feeling. The second I saw her she just grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze and I felt miles better. That woman just has a calming effect on me it's great. I know I seem like I reacted like a little girl, but that cunt really fucked my life around and had/has no remorse for it at all, and that was what I couldn't get over. I just can't understand how someone will quite happily nearly ruin someones life and their own, and literally not give two fucks. Like he has lost everyone who loved him, friend or otherwise. His ex-best friend now wants to beat the shit into him, and I'm not far off either if I'm honest. I'm not a naturally violently inclined person, but I can make exceptions. But fuck that shit I'm done being a whiney bitch so I'm getting back to my story.

We had a pint in the pub before the doors opened for upstairs to go to the Mish Mash, and our entire group took up nearly half the pub, this pub is fricken TINY. It is a bar and some seats around it and that is it. You move and you hit off someone on the other side of the bar, it's unreal. It was hitting 8.45pm, and people were starting to circle the door that leads to upstairs like vultures, so we all grabbed our stuff, stood up and joined the immediate queue. 9.00pm hit and the doors opened and we all piled up the stairs to try and get up quick enough to get good seats together. We paid our 5e in (undercharged in all honesty but I'm clearly not going to complain here), and nabbed seats. This venue is even smaller than the pub part downstairs. I'd say there were about 60/70 of us in a room that was 30x15foot. And the air con doesn't work all that fantastically (if at all). It started up and we watched the first 5 acts perform. They were doing a semi-final for a competition to perform at a comedy festival later in the year. It was hilarious, my stomach hurt from laughing so hard. Then I saw one of my best friends, Odd Shoes, come in and he sat beside us. The night got even better from then on. I missed that guy so much, it had been a few weeks since I saw him so I really really really missed him. He is literally 1 in 6 billion to me.

I just had a fight with a moth in my bed. I won. Fucker got squished to death. YEAH HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW BITCH TRYING TO GET ALL UP IN MY GRILL. Just thought I'd inform you of that. Moving swiftly on...

The second half came back on, with our bladders emptied and our bellies full of biscuits and sore from laughter. The next 5 acts were good craic too, but the only thing I'd say bad against the whole thing is the room it was held in was way too hot and small. Other than that it was top marks. Blades can't heckle for shit I found out tonight, so I'm going to have to inform him of this when I see him next, as I'm pretty sure he's not going to remember a bunch of the night.

It all finished at around 12.00 and we spilled outside, chatting away and deciding what to do next. Some people were heading to Diceys and whatnot, but seeing as how I hadn't exactly slept too fantastic the last few nights and am painfully broke, I called it quits with Odd Shoes and Kebabes and we got a taxi home together, and just hit the sack. Perfect night out (besides that minor glitch) with my friends, a lot of laughs and some biscuits and drinks thrown into the mix too for extra measure. Loved it.

Found out yesterday Bon Iver will be playing in the Grand Canal Theatre in October. Tickets go on sale on Friday at 9am, and they're only 35e. Definitely going to be worth not being able to smoke or eat for the rest of the month. Rubber Ducky, Bambam and myself will be in attendance and shall be singing along to all his songs. The man's songs make me want to cry, laugh, love, sing and dance all at the one time. Not many singers can do that to me but this guy has IT (whatever IT may be).

Until next time my beloved bunnies,
Living In Wonderland xo

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Hide And Seek.

Being Rape-Proof, Because You'd Never Say No...

I got about 3 hours sleep last night because I was wired from downloading a bunch of music, and chatting to my friend online. Turns out he has a blog too and it's fairly fricken sweet, so if you're arsed, go check it out at Nero's panty drawer. . His ramblings are cool and fresh, if I dare say. He is one of the very few of my actual mates who knows I have one of these things, and I like it that way. I like being able to mumble and grumble without having my friends check in on everything that I'm saying. My friend who has the blog has done the very clever thing of using alises (is that how you spell it? Looks wrong) instead of real peoples names so as to protect their privacy, and as some of the very few peeps who know I have it have asked me not to use their names in my posts, I've decided to do the same whenever I mention them, just to be nice and stuff.

Anyways last night I was chatting to Moon Pies for ages, and I kept thinking how it's so odd the way we became friends. I was mates with his cousin (can't stand that fucker anymore, but that's burnt in the past thank Jesus) and a few other mutuals and we were all out on a night out in town and his eyes were HUGE and I fell in love with them, which I never failed to mention to him once that night. I lost my friend Rubber Ducky on one of the three floors of the club and was going ballisitic trying to find her because RD alone when drunk leads to potential dangerous things (one of the many reasons why she is my hetero soul mate). Anyways I was all over the place trying to find her and trying to walk in a straight line due to the copious amounts of everything I had been doing and drinking, and I saw Moon Pies and I literally grabbed him and dragged him around with me to try and find her, despite the fact that I had known him 5 minutes and he could have been a serious creep/rapist (the verdict is still out on that one). I suggested we walk through the dancefloor to get to the other side, and as we did Rage Against The Machine came on with "Killing In The Name Of". Thought I was going to die. I lost Moon Pies, started getting thrown all over the place and I lost my footing, my shoe flying off in the process. The floor started coming towards me and I just kept thinking "Oh Jesus, please don't knock out any of my teeth", and then as I was about half a foot away from certain dental death, Moon Pies literally came out of nowhere (I suspect he is a ninja part-time) and swooped me up and pulled me away from the crowd, and somehow I miraculously got my shoe back onto my foot. That was the moment I fell in love with this dude. What a hero. And then the little asshole stole my bunny-eared hat for a while. A strong friendship followed. We get each other, which is really nice to have in a male-female friendship. I honestly didn't expect us to even get past that first night out together but I've really come to know him, and he is a really genuine lovely guy. I'm fiercely protective of him and enjoy the twats company from time to time I guess. We get up too all sorts of things when out drinking together. No alcoholic store room is safe from us, if there is a door we shall find that room and we shall find that booze and we shall drink said booze and then we shall demand a Subway the next day when dying of vicious hangovers. We are also amazing at I-Spy. Things that don't exist in the room somehow are eligable for usage. He's just fun.

And I'm going to stop now because I'm being a sap and he's going to see this and his head is going to get bigger and he won't be able to fit through the door. You'd want to appreciate this Moon Pies, you know what I'm like :)

I'm worried about my friend Blades. His girlfriend lives in a different country and it's taking its toll on him. He's becomming inverted. DEFINITELY not like him at all. I hope he just does the right thing. I'll check up on that at a later stage though.

Mish Mash in the International Comedy Bar off Grafton Street tomorrow night. 5e in, free biscuits and a bunch of good comedy acts, can't really go wrong!

Night bunnies
Living In Wonderland xo

Monday, May 16, 2011


I am changing my profile around. Needs a breath of fresh air into it. But not white, I'm done with white. White symbolizes cleanliness, and in all honesty I am pure filth. I feel sorry for my parents for having me as their daughter.

Peace out home skillets.
Living In Wonderland xo

Sleeps. I has none.

Is it just me or does anyone else have the absolute and utter loves for Micky Mouse? I own more things with his face on it than anythings else. My panty drawers are full of his face. I am happy knowing he's... eh... very close to me.

I can't sleep. The fuck?

I miss my immense iTunes. Stupid goddamn laptop repair place fucking deleted over 3000 songs off my laptop. I actually broke down in front of the unforgiving Polish fucker who did it, his cold eyes not giving a shit, me with a raging hangover trying not to vomit all over him while he told me there was nothing he could do (in hindsight it probably would have made a stand if I actually did vom all over his fucking stupid gloved hands). So now I'm having to start from scratch with it all. Disgustingly painstaking, but totally worth it. Music is everything to me. I'd rather break my phone than my iPod, although my good friend decided to break my iPod by just listening to it... I don't blame him at all in the slightest. I have the single most horrendous luck with iPods. I was out with my cousin about a year ago and my iPod "The Titanic" was in my bag. I had a bottle of water in my bag too. Anyways long story short I went to get something out of my bag at the end of the night and my iPod was (literally) drowning in water. How ironic eh? I sat at the bottom of Georges Street and cried like a fucking baby. Probably didn't help that I had severe amounts of vodka in my system, but nothing was able to cheer me up, not even a gay guy walking up to me buying me a single rose off some Romanian chick. Anways yeah long story short I has no luck with gadgets in general. I look at something and it will break. Keep iPhones away from me.

Work tomorrow. Kill me. I miss Fibbers.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


Ok so it has been well over 6 months since I last posted on this blog. I decided to have a read to see what they were like and I couldn't even get past the first one. My life was so fucked up then, I was in such a bad place and I didn't even realise it. I sounded like some massive bipolar head. I think back to what it was like and I never ever ever want to be in that position again. And to think, all my problems began around this time last year. You know the way people always say "I wonder where I'll be a year from now", and I often say that, but I never thought allllll that shit would happen to me. Not going into specifics at all but I have changed for the better and now enjoy life so much. Some days the memories trickle into my mind and I get warped into the thoughts but I try not to dwell on them. But thankfully I'm not in that place anymore. I'm so so so so happy these days, and am finally getting what I want out of life. I'm heading back to college in September to do beauty therapy, which is what I've wanted to do my entire life, I love my job and have a house to myself for 2 short sweet weeks coming up soon, and I have a massive holiday booked for the end of August with 16 of my friends, so all in all everything's looking up Millhouse. My friends are fucking awesome socks and I'm just, I don't know how to exaplin it really, I guess I'm just really really happy. Shit is coming together. I was such a fucking moan and I was so depressed, I don't know who that Alice was back then. But things are improved and graveycakes now that I want to share fun stuffs with the world. But until something majorly witty happens that I can share, I shall just leave this with you for the meantime...