"Don't be all shadow and no substance"

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Going To Live My Life To Destroy Your World.

I've been an emotional mess this whole summer. This was meant to be a great summer full of fun, drink, parties, 21st birthdays and no worries, but it hasn't. Well it has technically, but not always in a good way. I've had fights with people I thought I'd never fight with, opened my eyes to the truth about a lot of people finally, put myself through misery and a slow and painful heartbreak, fucked up my life in little but damaging ways, and now I'm literally at a life crossroad and if I go one way or the other either way I'm going to be pretty miserable. I don't like when people ask me what do I want to do, because I don't know what I want to do tonight let alone what I want to do with my life. The only thing I am honestly passionate about is fashion and make up, but the second I turn around and say to my family or friends that that's what I want to do they give me this "look", you know the one, the kind of look that says "yeah yeah sure you might want to pick something worthwhile instead that'll give you more money", but I've never been motivated by money. All I've ever wanted to be is happy in life and do things that I find interesting but the second I try to do it I get berated and scorned for it. So now I'm just begging people to tell me what to do, because I honestly haven't a fucking clue what to do. If anyone knows what I should do with my life please let me know. I'd love to go oer to London and start fresh or something and be a new person because no one over there will know the difference.

Let the good times roll on pleeeeeeeeeease.

Rant over, my apologies

Living In Wonderland xo

3 comments:

  1. Oh deary, I know the feeling. I was coerced into a Commerce degree that I spent every second hating to keep everyone else around me happy so I wasn't "wasting my brains". Feck it, you only have one life, you have to live it for yourself!!! Come to London, everything is nicer here!

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  2. Sorry to hear that. I know it's a cliche but it's better to find out late what some people are like than to never find out. It also gives you an excuse to start swinging the fists. It makes you feel better, people aren't so okay with it though.

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  3. I will take you up on your wise words of wisdom Tuesday Kid, thank you. Fists at the ready!

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